Pirates of the Circulatory System
by meowface
Summary: We actually had to write a story about the circulatory system for science. So we thought why not add Jack to spice things up a bit!Pretty funny story to be educational!


Disclamer: I didn't make up potc the pirates life for me song or Jack (JACK YAY Jack rules I love Jack um....) but I do own the potc cd and dvd!  
  
By Valerie  
  
        PIRATES OF THE CIRCULATORY SYSTEM  
  
        It was another boring afternoon. Alyssa and I were studying for a huge Science test. Well, actually Alyssa was studying and I was listening to a CD. "What are you doing?" Alyssa yelled. "You're supposed to be studying".  
  
         
  
 "Um...It's a study CD", I answered, hoping she would buy it.  
  
          
  
"Oh, it's a study CD. Then you won't mind if I listen to it?" Alyssa asked knowing it was probably a rock CD.  
  
       
  
   "No!" I protested. But it was too late. Alyssa already had the headphones on.  
  
      
  
    "A Pirates of the Caribbean CD...you're trying to tell me that while I was studying you were listening to a Pirates of the Caribbean CD! Wow! This is so cool! Where'd you get it?"  
  
     
  
     "EBay", I responded.  
  
        "Okay, forget the Science; let's go on EBay. I'm getting one for myself!"  
  
        "SO YOU'D RATHER LISTEN TO A PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN CD THAN STUDY?" a huge booming voice asked.  
  
     
  
     "Pretty much, yeah", I answered. "This is supposed to be a boring day. Who are you anyway?"  
  
       
  
   "I AM THE BIG BOOMING VOICE. NOW YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO BOTH; STUDY THE CIRCULATORY SYSTEM AND WELL...THERE WILL BE SOMETHING WITH PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN INCORPORATED IN THERE TOO.  
  
        
  
  "Okey dokey Big Booming Voice", we replied.  
  
        
  
  Suddenly the wind began to rush around us like a mini tornado. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was up to my knees in a dark red liquid inside of what seemed to be a passageway. "Hey, didn't the Big Booming Voice say something about the Circulatory System?" I asked.  
  
        
  
  "Yeah, so we must be entering the heart through the Superior Vena Cava and that red liquid must contain plasma mixed with red blood cells!" Alyssa replied.  
  
Suddenly we heard a voice call out, "Hey there mates!"  
  
"Doesn't that voice sound familiar?" I asked. We turned our heads to see none other than Captain Jack Sparrow, the main character in Pirates of the Caribbean. We walked in shock over to the famous pirate.   
  
"I'm really confused. I thought that Jack Sparrow was a FICTIONAL character. Hey, maybe that's Johnny Depp. That would make sense, since he played Jack Sparrow!" Alyssa exclaimed.   
  
"Well, there is only ONE way to find out", I said and we nodded at each other and grinned evilly. Suddenly, we lunged towards him pulling his hair.  
  
"Hey, what do you know; it's not a wig. It must be Jack Sparrow", Alyssa said.  
  
"I could've told ya that", Jack growled, smoothing out his dreadlocks.   
  
"Hey, is that a boat?" I asked pointing to a small vessel next to Jack.  
  
"SHIP, it's a SHIP!" Jack yelled. "I found myself suddenly transported to this place. A big booming voice said something about two girls obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, who were supposed to be studying for a Science test."  
  
"That would be us", we replied.  
  
"Can I ask you mates a favor? Um...ya see I was sorta a fourth grade drop out. Since you know a bit about the circulatory system, maybe you could be my ah...guide?" he asked nervously, almost sheepishly, as he wasn't very accustomed to asking favors.  
  
"Sure", we answered. We were hardly in the boat when the blood started to move rapidly and we found ourselves transported to a large room. The Right Atrium I thought. We sailed in the boat for a while.   
  
"I'm bored", Alyssa sighed.  
  
"I know how about we sing?" I suggested. "We get to go on a boat ride, a boat ride". Alyssa joined in and we sang for a while.  
  
"Will you mates ever be quiet?" Jack snapped. In a flash he jumped out of the boat and while running he unsheathed his sword, aiming for the wall of the Septum.   
  
"Stop"! Alyssa and I yelled in unison.   
  
"What do you think you're doing? All of the blood will mix together. You'll cause a disaster!" I warned.   
  
"I was just trying to find a short cut and besides, your singing was driving me crazy", he replied. Luckily for Jack he didn't have to endure any more correction as the blood began to move faster again and we found ourselves speeding through the Tricuspid Valve into the Right Ventricle. "I'm thirsty", Jack moaned. He went into the cabin of the ship and pulled out a bottle of rum.   
  
"Jack!" we warned. "This is for SCHOOL, which means no alcoholic beverages". Jack frowned as his rum turned into apple juice. Soon we were inside the Pulmonary Artery.  
  
"If I can't have rum can this at least be Snapple?" Jack pleaded as his apple juice became a bottle of Snapple. "Yay!"  
  
By that time we were in a small blood vessel. I was staring at Jack with a dreamy expression in my eyes. Jack was drinking his Snapple and Alyssa was poking me trying to wake me out of my trance. "Jack's so cute when he's drinking Snapple", I murmured. Jack then noticed me staring and became a little freaked out. But luck struck again for Jack Sparrow and we were now out of the blood vessel and I turned my attention to the lungs, which were busily getting rid of all the carbon dioxide. Our stay wasn't long and soon we were passing through the Pulmonary Valve. Jack suddenly jumped out of the boat and started to tug at the valve.  
  
"Jack!" we yelled. "Stop right now!" We ended up having to drag him back to the boat.  
  
"What were you doing?" I asked.   
  
"That was prettifull so I was going to steal it!" he answered.  
  
"Since when was prettifull a word?" Alyssa asked.   
  
"Since I said it was!" Jack retorted. "No more stealing things!" I ordered. Jack pouted.   
  
"He's so cute when he pouts", I said. Alyssa rolled her eyes. We didn't even notice we had already passed through the Pulmonary Vein and were in the Left Atrium. The blood had become bright red with oxygen!   
  
"What's that?" Jack asked lowering his spyglass. Off in the distance we saw something white.   
  
"A white blood cell!" we screeched. It began to chase Jack.  
  
"Don't loose these!" Jack instructed as he gave us his sword, pistol, hat and jacket. He did his swan dive into the blood as the white blood cell pursued him.  
  
"Why is it chas...", Alyssa started to ask.   
  
"He's a pirate, remember?" I answered.  
  
"White blood cells fight off bad things."   
  
"OOOOOOO", Alyssa responded.  
  
Jack climbed into the boat, breathing heavily. "...lost him", he gasped.   
  
"Jack is so cute when he's tired because he just got chased by a white blood cell", I exclaimed.   
  
"Please Jack never scare me like that again. You could have been hurt. Poor Jack". All of us rested during our ride through the Mitral Valve. When we arrived in the Left Ventricle I suggested we sing a song.   
  
"Oooo let's sing A Pirate's Life for me!" Jack urged.   
  
"Okay", we answered.   
  
"We pillage and plunder and riffle and loot. Drink up me hearties, yo ho!  
  
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot. Drink up me hearties, yo ho!   
  
We burn and char and inflame and ignite. Drink up me hearties, yo ho!   
  
We burn up the city, we're really a fright. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me," we started to sing. By the fifth time singing the song Alyssa stopped singing. When we were at the end of the tenth time Alyssa was going crazy. "We're devils, we're black sheep, we're really bad eggs", we sang.   
  
"STOP", she yelled.   
  
"Okay", we answered. "All you had to do was ask." We had already passed through the Aortic Valve and were in the Aorta. The wind started to come again and we were back in my living room.   
  
"What happened?", Alyssa asked.   
  
"I don't know, but I think we studied enough for one day", I answered.  
  
"Want to watch Pirates of the Caribbean?" Alyssa suggested.   
  
"YAY!" I answered.  
  
"Even after watching it 87 times it doesn't get boring", Alyssa remarked.  
  
"I've seen it 88 times", I said proudly.  
  
We turned on the DVD player. "Jack is so cute when he's inside the TV", I exclaimed.  
  
        THE END.....or is it!  
  
Authors note- The sequel; Pirates of the Circulatory System 2: Return (which is by Alyssa not me) is already posted ready for you to read!!!! Oh and please review!!!! 


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